I faced a problem that needed solving, so I reached out to my sisters, parents, and close friends to talk it through. My older sister suggested one solution, while a close friend offered a completely different approach. I soon realized that the more people I involved in trying to help, the more I risked disappointing them if I decided to go with a different idea.
As a people pleaser, the thought of disappointing someone feels like the worst case scenario. The pressure to keep everyone happy, from my parents to a friend I just met two days ago, became overwhelming. In the end, I found myself choosing a solution that would please the most people, without really considering what I actually wanted. I repeated this pattern every time a problem arrived in my life, and I realized how unhappy it made me. I repeated this pattern every time a problem came up in my life, and I eventually realized how unhappy it made me.
See, even though everyone’s intentions were harmless, I ended up with results that didn’t bring me any joy. The struggle of avoiding disappointment from others while neglecting my true feelings made me realize I wasn’t living my own life. I was so focused on what others wanted I forgot to take into consideration what I wanted. I realized when I incorporated my close circle into my day-to-day problems I would get a diversity of solutions. Instead of choosing the one that would make others happy, I began to choose the one that I felt most comfortable and long-term joy from.
At first, I thought I would disappoint others, but I soon realized that disappointment is inevitable. What matters is that it shouldn’t carry too much weight if you’re doing what’s right for you. I learned that taking care of myself and making choices that align with my values is not selfish—it’s necessary for my well-being. In the end, living authentically means embracing the fact that some people might not always be pleased, and that’s okay.
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